That Vicious Circle
by sailormoonstwin
Summary: UsagiMamoru AU Behind that happy, carefree smile is a girl who hates herself to no end. They are only high school classmates coincidentally taking the same summer course. How can Mamoru help Usagi? And will she teach him to actually live?
1. Chapter 1

Background: Started in the summer of 2002.

Disclaimers: As per usual, don't own characters or series but writing and idea is my own.

Author's Note: I know that some of the things in this chapter are probably not realistic. But, hey, it's a story. Thanks for reading!

* * *

**Ch. 1**

"Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah." She clutched her throat as she felt it come up again. She'd been coughing up blood for the past few days. Her parents didn't know. She wasn't about to tell them.

She wanted to die. What better way to do it than this, huh? Dying slowly from the inside. She'd slept much more than normal—well, what was normal for her when she had school—and now she was tired, deliriously tired. Her meals were getting meager; a few pieces of meat and vegetables with rice, an orange, and water. When she got home from summer school, she completed her homework, studied a bit, exercised strenuously for an hour, took a shower, and reorganized some of the stuff she'd brought home from school before she went to sleep.

She coughed into her hand. Blood splattered onto it. Again. His eyes widened.

Still coughing, she excused herself before running into a nearby bathroom. She ran the water. Red turned into pink and swirled down the drain. More red joined that. Then her breakfast. Finally it stopped and she sighed with relief as her body relaxed. That metallic taste of blood really bothered her. She gargled water and spit it in the sink. Then she popped a mint in and chomped on it until her eyes watered as she left the bathroom.

It was getting harder for her to walk. When her father dropped her off this morning, it took every ounce of strength for her to not collapse when she stepped out of the car. Each step was painful and difficult on her knees. She was surprised that she climbed the stairs all the way to the third floor. That must've taken its toll. Her right foot turned out as she put it down, throwing her off balance. She fell forward and would have kissed the floor if Mamoru hadn't caught her.

Mamoru Chiba. A sophomore at Juuban High School and 16 years old, like her, Mamoru was rather tall for his age (5' 8"!). He had bluish black hair with blue eyes to match. She thought he was kinda cute. He hardly ever smiled though and rarely interacted with anyone who wasn't part of that exclusive group he was in. No matter how much she tried to elicit a laugh out of him, he didn't so much as twitch a muscle; his group seemed to laugh in his place. She'd only really met him last summer and had barely talked to him during the school year. She found he was rather cold and stoic most of the time. She was therefore rather surprised when he asked her if she was going to summer school at Albert Einstein.

"Hey Chris!" She said with a smile.

"Hi," he said smiling back. He stopped to drink at the water fountain before continuing down the hall. She was about to say something else when another voice cut her off.

"Hey Usagi . . . "

"Huh?" she said blinking. "Hi Mamoru." She waited for him to finish drinking for he obviously had a question for her.

"Are you taking summer classes at Albert Einstein?"

She blinked again. How had he known? Creepy. Slowly, she replied, "Yeah. Why?"

"Well, I'm taking classes there this summer. The lady that was scheduling our classes said that there were other people coming from Juuban."

Surprise was evident on her face. "Oh. Well, cool."

He must be awfully stuck up (a self-centered jerk) to be so cold and rude to everyone. And yet Mamoru was being awfully concerned. The guy showed concern and when does he ever care about anybody beside himself? He seemed really worried though, because he actually waited for her to come out of the bathroom.

"Whoa. Are you sure you're okay?" Mamoru steadied her by grabbing her shoulders.

"Yeah. I'm fine. My foot just slipped." The truth was she wasn't fine; she was anything but fine. But since when does one admit weakness to an enemy? Well, he wasn't really an enemy but she wasn't comfortable in his presence. That cold, stoic demeanor she'd heard about from others made her keep her distance.

"No, you're not." He said rather accusingly. "You were coughing up blood!" He wanted to shake some sense into her but was afraid that that would harm more than help. "Come on. We'll let the teacher know . . . we'll explain to her the situation . . . and I'll take you home."

Her head shot up. Somewhere between him catching her and accusing her of lying, his shoulder had become a comfy pillow. Usagi had closed her eyes and listened to his semi-baritone voice, feeling the way it caused a rumble in her ear. She felt safe there. _Safe?!_

Maybe the pillow was just a little too comfy. How could anyone feel safe with someone you didn't know? If you knew what that person was thinking and how to act around him, there wouldn't be any insecurity. However, most of the time you don't and that's the scarier part: the not knowing, the risk of being betrayed, having your faith and trust in someone broken.

In any case, fatigue had been setting in and she had barely heard any of what Mamoru was saying. She felt the world swirling around her but was too tired to even lift her arms, to reach for something to steady herself. At that moment, the word "teacher" filtered into her head and she immediately regained some semblance of consciousness.

With a fleeting glance at her watch, she shrieked, "We're late!" However, the mad dash she attempted to make was aborted; the consciousness of her brain was greater than that of the rest of her body combined. When she stepped forward, her knees had buckled and if not for Mamoru's quick reflexes, she really would have hit the floor this time. Even now, her face was mere inches from the dusty linoleum tiles. She wrinkled her nose in distaste as Mamoru hauled her back into a standing position.

"Are you going to tell me your foot slipped again?" he deadpanned. His expressionless face made him appear bored.

She grinned sheepishly. Raising an eyebrow, "Oh, I'll tell you alright." However, she never got a chance as another wave of fatigue inundated her senses. She fell limply against him as his arms tightened around her. Mamoru had to literally drag her down the hall as he pulled her arm around his neck and placed his other hand around her waist.

Luckily for them, the classroom wasn't too far from where they had been standing. "Hang on." He whispered, more to comfort himself than her.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers: As per usual, don't own characters or series but writing and idea is my own.

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**Ch. 2**

"Now, we are beginning a new project today. These are the packets. Please take one and pass them along." Click. Squeak. "Oh my! Is she alright?"

The entire class was staring at Mamoru, who had a girl leaning heavily on him and who was trying desperately to keep her upright. She tried to remove herself from his arms, only succeeding in making him tighten his grip on her.

"I'm fine. There's no need to worry." She had managed to pry herself from that iron grasp and was already walking down the aisle of seats to hers when a voice made her pause mid-step.

"Ms. Tsukino." Dread crept into her; it had a tone that brooked no argument.

"Yes?" was the meek reply. She turned around and stared at the teacher innocently.

"I will make you and Mr. Chiba here a copy of my notes and then he will take you home. We will go make those copies now. These are the handouts on our new assignment." She beckoned to Usagi to come up to the front. Usagi sighed inwardly. There seemed to be no way to get out of this.

She had not taken even 3 steps before her legs gave way. Mamoru rushed forward as he saw her eyes roll back slightly and got to her as she crumpled into a heap. He was kneeling as he held Usagi in an embrace, effectively trapping her arms between them. Her face was buried in his cottony shirt. Her hair splayed around them in rivers of golden yellow.

The teacher finally noticed the deadness of the room. No one stirred, no pieces of paper were rustling, there wasn't so much as a squeak of a chair much less voices reverberating in the air. "Yes . . . " The silence was unnerving. By the time she finished speaking, though, the class had come to life. "This assignment will be your project grade for this class. It will be due 5 weeks from today. Please find a partner—only one—and begin reading the packet. I want your topic by the end of today, midnight. E-mail them to me." Turning toward the door, "Chiba, Tsukino, come with me."

While the teacher had been speaking, Mamoru tried to wake up Usagi. _Why do I feel so warm . . . if I've died and gone to Heaven, I don't wanna ever leave . . ._ "Hey Usagi, " the voice whispered. "You really shouldn't fall asleep in class." Everything was still rather hazy but voices, other than the one that had just spoken, were filtering in. She breathed and immediately smelled roses. _Where am I?_ she wondered. With a mumbled, "Go away," she forced her eyes to open, pulling back slightly from the warmth even though she wanted to stay there forever. However, her efforts to keep her eyes open were in vain; her eyelids were drooping heavily. A chuckle reached her ears. "Huh? Oh, it's you again."

He raised his eyebrows and smirked. "Is that any way to greet your savior? You woulda gotten a concussion if I hadn't caught you."

"Hmmph." She was too tired to put much emotion in it.

"Let's work together on the project?" It sounded more like he was telling her than asking her. She gave an imperceptible nod. At that moment, she happened to see a bunch of girls frowning at her. Usagi blinked. _What was that?_ She didn't have much time to ponder as she was pulled to her feet.

In the copy room, the teacher handed them each a set of notes. "Now I expect you both to do well on this. You are wonderful students. Please take this class time off and get some rest. We'll be working on the project for the next few weeks as I cover different areas of the project and allow you to ask me any questions you may have. I must get back now."

All three walked out and headed in separate directions . . . or so Usagi thought. "Stop following me."

"I'm supposed to take you home." He slung an arm around her shoulders. "Now, how do we get there?"

All the fight seemed to drain out of her. "Can we sit outside for awhile? I normally don't go back home until one so they'll suspect something if I get back early. Besides it's nice outside." She pouted, "Please?"

He smiled. Was it her imagination or did he seem different since the last time she had talked to him? Although still cold and aloof, he was easier to talk to and joke with . . . "Sure. So where to?"

"The slabs."

"That's in the center of campus! Are you sure you wanna walk there in your condition?"

She smiled wanly. "As long as you're my walking stick, I'll be fine."

"Great," he mumbled. She laughed and he suddenly wanted to be the one to always make her laugh.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimers: As per usual, don't own characters or series but writing and idea is my own.

Author's Note: I think the characters have become a little OOC. I prolly need to watch and read Sailor Moon again. I will try to work their personalities back into the story as it progresses.

* * *

**Ch. 3**

"See? What'd I tell ya?" she smiled radiantly. She closed her eyes and breathed in the cool summer air with a sigh.

He just watched her, amazed at how something so simple—something that he often took for granted—seemed to make her the happiest person in the world. He blurted out, "What are you thinking when you just sit there, doing that?"

"Eh?" He shrugged, like he was saying, "Just wondering." "Well, it kinda makes you forget all your worries you know. If every day could be beautiful and sunny, not too cold, not too hot . . . but then, I think, that it'd be no fun if we didn't have bad weather once in a while. There'd be nothing to look forward to, you know? Like with life in general . . . hope drives everything."

He nodded. "I see." And he really did too. She was always looking for the bright side of the things. No wonder people were so drawn to her. Her optimism was a beacon of light that spread wherever she went. Her smiles were always wide and ready for anyone and they always, always, reached her eyes. At the moment, however, her eyes were becoming hidden.

Usagi blinked languidly a few times and tried to suppress a yawn. "Sleepy?" he asked. "Don't tell me you're still going to sleep at 3 in the morning."

She shook her head. "No, not so late anymore. At the latest one-thirty, but that's hard when other people are still up making noise. Like my little brother with his blasted computer games." Usagi rolled her eyes. "The twerp! I'm right next door and he has the sound on high. When I yell at him in the morning, he says, 'I didn't know you went to sleep. I just know you left the room cuz you finally quit yapping.' Humph! What a pain!"

Mamoru's eyes danced merrily. He felt oddly at ease inside every time they had talks like these. It was like she was drawing him closer to her, letting him in even though he barely knew her . . . letting him become a part of her family. The last time he talked to her had been at the beginning of the summer, when Usagi had started talking to him for absolutely no reason.

He knew that it was difficult for her to sleep at home. She'd said so before. He still found it hard to believe that her mom never went to sleep. However, Usagi had said that her mom slept at odd hours of the day. Mamoru shook his head slightly in exasperation. Parents these days are always so hypocritical. _Her mom tells her to go to sleep early but doesn't sleep at normal hours herself!_

In that conversation, he also remembered her mentioning that she had a brother. He didn't have any siblings. Well, any real siblings; his parents had died in a car crash when he was six. His foster parents treated him as if he were one of their own and he was grateful for that but he never felt as if he particularly belonged in that home with them. Maybe that was because the other children never treated him nicely, even when reproached. Especially Makoto Himitsu, who was his age. He was only glad that Tenshi Himitsu, the youngest, had taken an immediate liking to him those four years ago. She was what repeatedly kept him from punching Makoto all those times he had crossed the line. He didn't want her to learn that violence was the only way to deal with problems. He knew she looked up to him for guidance a lot; he had become her sounding board in a way.

"Hey, you still in there?" Usagi sounded miffed.

"Sorry. Did you say something?" Mamoru queried.

Usagi sweatdropped and gave a long suffering sigh. Throwing up her hands, she asked someone up there, "Why do I even bother?"

He raised his eyebrows questioningly. Maybe the sleep deprivation was affecting her sanity. Although sometimes he wondered if she was even sane on days when she had plenty of sleep, especially those days he'd been in her presence when she was extraordinarily giddy and full of energy. Not that there were many of those. He barely saw her at all last school year.

"Ok, ok. Jeez. Don't look at me like I've lost it." She waved a hand as if to brush all previous conversation aside. "I asked you if you had any brothers or sisters. Three times, I might add."

Mamoru grinned, noticing the all too overt jab at the end. "Aw, come on. I just spaced out a little."

"And?" Usagi looked at him expectantly.

"And what?" The grin faded into confusion.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

"Oh! Well, yeah, I suppose you . . . could say that they are . . . that I do. Technically, I don't have any." For the life of him, Mamoru couldn't understand why he was volunteering this information so readily. It wasn't his most favorite topic of discussion. Usagi silently urged him to continue, eyes showing her earnest curiosity. "There are five: Makoto, Hanako, Alex, Maki, and Tenshi. That's in order of age.

"Tenshi's an angel, as her name implies, and she's the youngest at age 11. She pretty much holds the entire house together. If it weren't for her, I'm pretty sure I would've run away a long time ago. She's the closest to family that I actually have. She relies on me to guide her when she has decisions to make but she's independent too. I can't say that I have nice things to say about the rest of them, well, except for Maki, but I don't hate them.

"Maki is 12, technically, twelve and a half. He's very quiet, . . . subdued, I suppose. He and Tenshi get along well but, like I said, Tenshi has a way with people . . . kinda like you." Usagi tilted her head to the side, surprised. Her contemplation upon this subject would have to wait until later though. "I don't know much else about him. Before, you know when we had regular classes and everything, by the time I got home from school, he was already locked away in his room and when I left to go to school, he was already gone. He only came out to eat dinner with us and, even then, he didn't stay very long.

"Mom seems to understand though. She lets him be because she knows that he needs to figure out whatever is bugging him on his own. From what I can tell, he has a really large independent streak.

"Mako is the worst of the remaining three; he's more of a bully than anything. He's in our grade and he's a little over sixteen. Since the time I first stepped into the house, he has considered me his rival. He's not the cleanest of characters but he never disobeys Mom or Dad . . . except in matters concerning me. If there's something he wants, nothing will deter him; it doesn't mean he has never been stopped. It just takes a lot of outwitting on the opponent's part." He chuckled. "I had to . . . huh?"

Usagi had put a hand on his arm because there was a question that clamored to be answered. Nervously, she replied, "I hope you don't mind me asking . . . but what did you mean when you said since the first time you stepped into that house? Were you talking about the house you live in now? I don't want to make the . . . an assumption but you said that none of your quote unquote brothers and sisters are really your brothers and sisters, so are they . . . adopted?"

Of all the absurd things that she could possibly say, this had to take the cake. He looked at her incredulously. "Actually, they're all related as brothers and sisters. I . . . I am . . . " He hesitated.

As if he were a child, she patted him on the head, letting her hand linger there for a moment. "It's alright. You don't have to continue if you don't want to. We can talk about something else." She brought her arms behind her head and looked up at the sky. "Like the weather or what your favorite color is or who yo—"

Dazed by her compassion, he interrupted her. "No, I just . . . don't normally tell people about them . . . about me. It doesn't bring back the pleasantest of memories. It doesn't even bring back memories . . . There's that gap in my mind where the first six years of my life should be. My real parents died in a car crash when I was six and I have amnesia from the accident. The only thing I was left with was a name and sometimes I'm not so sure if that's even my real name.

"After I got out of the hospital, I was placed in an orphanage. It wasn't the best place for children to grow up. Our guardians were nice people. The other children, on the other hand, weren't. I lived there for six years, staying away from the others . . . locked in my room just like Maki." Mamoru paused for a moment at this revelation. "I received a surprise on my twelfth birthday. The Himitsus adopted me."

"Himitsu? But your last name is Chiba." Usagi was perplexed.

"Yeah. They allowed me to keep my full name. They said that they would feel terrible if they took that away from me too.

"Well, to say the least, I was euphoric. I was finally moving out of that grungy building with those cruel children to what I hoped would be a better, lovelier place. When we arrived at my new home, it was more than I could imagine. The first time I saw it, my eyes practically popped out of their sockets. The house was humongous on the outside and the inside proved to be the same as well. I could already tell that there were three floors because of the windows. All our rooms are the same size so there could be no arguments over that.

"I thought that I finally had a place where I could belong. However, it seems, it just wasn't meant to be. Dad went inside to get the rest of the family. The first thing Mako did when he saw me was give me a bloody nose. My parents got mad at him and he was sent to stand in the kitchen corner. I had a nosebleed for the rest of the day.

"I soon found that the family had many strained relationships. Dad and Mom get along pretty well but they are normally at their best when Tenshi is with them. I'm only glad that Tenshi immediately liked me. She was only 7 at the time but she was able to tackle me to the floor. She said, "I like you. I like you a lot!" She was like a kid with a toy but her affection for me never changed. She's my best friend as well as my kid sister."

Usagi smiled warmly, tears gathering in her eyes. "It makes me happy to know that you've had someone by your side. Don't give up, ne? There are others too, at school, who care about you a lot. I can tell it takes a lot for you to trust someone but if it isn't too much to ask, come and talk to me when you want. I'll always be here.

"I'm just really sorry that you had to go through all of that. I'm . . . I can't imagine how you could have survived such hardships, especially when you're only a child. I know I couldn't have. It seems so unreal that people can have such awful things happen to them. But it does happen . . . I . . . I won't let you suffer alone!" With that, she launched herself into Mamoru's arms. He blinked, everything beginning to sink in, and awkwardly wrapped his arms around her small form. Had he really told her all of that?

Her sobbing echoed loudly in his ears. She was crying for him, crying for everything that he had lost, crying the tears that he wouldn't allow himself to cry all those years ago, and yet it also felt as if she were crying for anybody who had ever lost someone, suffered, or was hurt in any way. He often thought these kinds of emotion were only weaknesses but they seemed to actually be Usagi's strongest points. Mamoru felt that the sides she had shown him today were only a few of the many that she possessed.

"Shhh," he soothed. Slowly her cries of anguish subsided into choked, quiet sniffles. Mamoru soon became aware that something wasn't right. Usagi was shaking almost convulsively. He drew her back from the embrace to find her clutching her throat in a fashion that he had seen earlier in the day. Although outwardly he appeared unconcerned and almost indifferent to the pain she was in, he was really worried and practically panicking on the inside.

One of her hands clenched the material of his green striped shirt tightly as coughs racked her body. He was frightened that she would start spitting out more blood and he didn't know what he would do if she did, but he didn't show it. "Hey, take deep breaths, " Mamoru told her. "I only wish people would always keep this in mind but I know it's hard when we feel we are resigned to our fate . . . that's where you come in. You remind people . . . you remind me . . . that if we live each day one at a time and as optimistically as possible, the future is just that much brighter. I once heard that the future is always a blank slate. We can fix our mistakes because we have the will. So don't grieve about the past anymore, ok? I won't give up, if you won't."

Hoarsely, she said in kind, "I won't . . . give up . . . won't . . . stop believing . . . in everyone." She wiped at the drying tears on her face and, embarrassed, moved to sit a little ways from Mamoru. They both felt a peaceful calm wash over them, sitting in the warm rays of the noon sun.

"Usagi . . . " His voice faltered.

"Hmm?"

"Why are coughing up blood?" He turned, his eyes searching hers for answers. She seemed startled.

"I . . . I . . . " Where could she begin? And how could she tell him, after promising that she wouldn't give up? It was just unbearable, to think that his eyes would be filled with loathing for her to fall prey to such a weakness. Why was it that she couldn't tell him? She felt that sense of foreboding, and hunching her shoulders, she found that she couldn't bring herself to say anything. He trusted her, so why couldn't she trust him? In her mind, she almost laughed bitterly. _It seems we're both suffering from the same thing. How ironic. We're like day and night but at the same time we're both dusk, that place in between._

Although a little hurt and saddened that Usagi wouldn't tell him why, Mamoru understood that she would tell him when she was ready to. He noticed that a melancholy glimmer had appeared in her eyes and couldn't help but chastise himself for being stupid enough to bring up a subject like that. Reaching out, he put a hand on her shoulder.

Wearily, she raised her head in question. With only a look, she understood that Mamoru wouldn't push the subject any further and silently thanked him. She felt dizzy . . . sleepy. Blinking, she realized that the crying had only sharpened the headache that had threatened to envelop her in the morning. "Do you mind if I put my head on your shoulder for a bit? I find the ground just a little creepy." She shuddered. "Blech. Bugs!"

He laughed. She glared. "Here here." He put an arm around her shoulder in a placating manner.

"I could get used to you being a pillow . . . " She scooted next to him to get into a more comfortable position.

"Is that all I'm good for these days?" She giggled and nodded. He sighed. "I've been demoted." A smile lingered on her lips as she fell into a light slumber.

_Poor her_, he thought. Although she hadn't said anything (she didn't really need to say anything; her face always was an open book), he knew that she hadn't told anyone what was wrong with her or why this was happening. _It must be difficult to go through something like this all by yourself. But you're not alone. I'll always be here for you. I promise._


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimers: As per usual, don't own characters or series but writing and idea is my own.

Author's Note: I'm really crossing my fingers and hoping the story makes some kind of sense. Oh, please enjoy a bit of fluff.

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**Ch. 4**

"Uh . . . " _What a headache . . . even after sleeping so much. Sleeping? Oh right, I fell asleep on Mamoru's shoulder. This doesn't feel much like him though. Doesn't smell like him either. Well, not that much_. The scent wasn't as strong as she remembered it. She frowned, trying to fight against the pull of sleep. Everything was a blur. There seemed to be a lot of light even though it was nighttime. _Nighttime?!_

She immediately sat up, only to clutch her head in pain. "Ugh." She groaned. _This is why I dislike getting up in the mornings. Bunk beds aren't the nicest things in the world . . . especially if you have the bottom bunk._

Of course she wasn't in a bunk bed at the moment but the pain in her head after sitting up so abruptly only reminded her of it; reminded her of the countless times at school that she got up in the morning only to smack her head on the bottom of the top bunk, where metal rungs stuck out like sore thumbs. It was a wonderful wake up call, especially if alarms and music didn't work. _Yeah right._

"The Sleeping Beauty has finally woken up." Maybe she should have recognized the voice. However, her mind wasn't totally there. She looked up to find the owner of the voice standing in the doorway to her left. The dim lighting didn't allow her to make out the face. She squinted in the dark to take a cursory glance of her surroundings.

Vases of flowers lined the top of the dresser, situated to the right of the door. Across from her was a bookcase and to the left of that were a desk and an accompanying chair. On her right, she was surprised to note that a wall was literally nonexistent. It was entirely glass. _Must be sliding doors_, she mused. Leading onto what looked like a balcony or patio, depending on how high up they were. She shivered at the thought of heights.

At first glance the place appeared virtually spotless. Upon further inspection, she noted that the bookcase wasn't exactly orderly. Stacks of books sat on the shelves rather than being in upright positions and magazines were crammed into any available space. Some black boxes, which she later discovered were video games, were scattered across the dresser top among dead leaves and petals. The desk wasn't exactly neat either. There was just one big heap of paper and books in the middle with a lamp, skewed so that it was crushed up against the side of the bookcase, and a pencil holder, devoid of all but one pen.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something slide down and out of the pile, roll across the desk, and drop off the edge to land in somebody's hand. She snapped her neck to get a full view of the person who she had momentarily forgotten. This place was comforting, though unfamiliar. Even so, she felt her heart begin to race. She unconsciously clenched the aqua green sheet covering her legs. Where was she? Who was that person? That . . . guy? _Hmm, definitely a guy._ The square shoulders and short, short hair gave it away.

A dull throbbing at the back of her head caught her attention. She blinked. It worsened. Her eyes felt like they were sunken in. Hadn't she slept for a while? Then why was she still so tired? "Ah." She moaned as the throbbing transferred to the middle of her forehead. She pressed the top of her head into her hands and bent forward. The skin over her cheeks seemed to tighten and her eyes felt tingly as her eyelids drooped. They stung as if needles were pricking them.

Everything started blurring and her eyes began to close of their own accord. A cool hand touched her forehead. Then she was forced to lie down into the comfortable bed. Somewhere the rustle of sheets came and then warmth surrounded her, encompassed her arms, all the way up to her neck. A disembodied voice floated in her semi-conscious state, asking for her phone number. Her brows came together and she heard the voice again. _Why would . . . ? Oh well. Whatever._ Numbly, slowly, she replied, blinking in and out of conscious before everything went completely dark.

* * *

_Is there a fire? It smells like smoke._ She wanted to throw up; she was getting so nauseous. Frowning, she tried to move away from the smell. It still invaded her senses. Usagi moved her hand from under the blanket to cover her nose. _What's going on?_ Her mind was swimming, consciousness ebbing once again. _I don't like this . . . this smells like cigarettes. _She wanted it to go away and leave her in peace. She was tired. _If I could sleep for eternity . . ._ The scream she wanted to make was choked, lodged in her throat.

The cause of all this happened to be hovering above her supine form, ready to take away her right to her first kiss. This person wasn't too dishonorable in any respect but some of his ethics infringed on others, on their . . . emotional stability.

Makoto had just come home from playing basketball with his friends, most of whom smoked. Makoto had done this at one time too but, on a promise to his mother because it harmed not only himself but also everyone around him, he would never smoke again. However, since he was with his friends, the smell was ingrained into his sweat-drenched clothes.

As he neared the row of bedrooms, Makoto had seen Mamoru leave his room and enter the bathroom carrying a bowl and a dripping washcloth. _Did he finally decide to clean his room?_ He figured this was an event to see and slipped into Mamoru's room while Mamoru was rinsing out the cloth and filling the bowl with new water. He was beyond shocked when he discovered a girl lying in Mamoru's bed. Since when did Mamoru get a girlfriend?! It didn't seem possible; Mamoru was always waving off the advances of the prettiest girls in school since . . . well, since as long as he could remember. Either that or Mamoru's first impressions on people left him respected but unreachable.

The girl was by no means exquisitely beautiful (few in a million were) but an innocent, angelic atmosphere surrounded her that made her plain, pale face appear delicate and pretty nonetheless. He drew closer to the bed to get a better look at her in the moonlight. Unaware of what he was doing, Makoto placed a hand on either side of her head. He started when he got a full-face view of her. Hadn't he seen her somewhere before? But nothing seemed to click . . . He dismissed the thought; it was probably just his imagination . . . there were plenty of people in the world and a lot of them looked similar if not almost alike.

_I could have fun with this_, he thought. _Why not steal a kiss from the angel and get her in trouble with Mamoru? He should be back any second and just in time. Then he'll be alone like he was before._ He laughed inwardly at his brilliance. As if reading his thoughts, however, the girl, in covering her nose, had covered her mouth. His eyes narrowed. _What the heck?!_

All of a sudden the girl started coughing violently. The water running in the bathroom came to a stop and quick footsteps could be heard in the hallway. Mamoru came to a halt as he noticed another person in the room. It definitely wasn't his mother. _Who dared . . . _He growled, "Get away from her."

The other person, however, wasn't affected by the cold tone. He was actually rather use to it. "Brother—" the word was practically spat out "—you're not the goody two shoes that you pretend to be . . . " Gesturing toward Usagi, he stated, "What'd you do to her? Hmm? Knock her out when she wouldn't agree to go out with an arrogant, greedy, adopted – oops, I'm sorry, it just . . . slipped." Makoto chuckled, obviously unapologetic.

Mamoru, who normally wore a stone face whenever talking to Makoto, was now openly glaring at him. Raising his voice in anger, he hissed, "Don't you dare drag her into your games."

As if in agreement, Usagi's eyes snapped open and she roughly pushed Makoto away from her. The smell was getting to her; she needed to breathe! At that moment, Mrs. Miki Himitsu walked in, flicking on the lights. "What's going on here?" she demanded. She had heard two male voices arguing and suspected that Makoto was picking on Mamoru again. This wasn't good; the poor girl, who was currently residing in Mamoru's room, needed her rest.

Neither even had time to respond to her question as blood came spilling out of Usagi's mouth. Usagi's eyes widened and she clapped her hands over her mouth. She'd spoiled somebody's sheets. She always caused so much trouble for everyone, no matter what she was doing. She wished this would end soon . . . tears began making their way down her face. Mrs. Himitsu (Miki) was immediately by her side, calming her.

"Are you using her for an experiment or something?" Makoto sneered, although he was rather shocked at the sight. He noted the horrified expression on Mamoru's face when the girl's blood began dribbling all over the blankets and decided to put a little salt on the wound. "What about all those others, huh? Did you tire of your test subjects once they got well?"

His mother paused in soothing Usagi's frazzled nerves and looked at him sharply. "That's enough, Makoto. Mamoru is an ethical person. He wants to be a doctor and studies enough that he can actually tend to minor injuries and problems. He helps those children because they're always in scrapes. Their parents are grateful that he willingly does this since most of them work. Now wash up and eat dinner. It's still on the table."

"Yes, Mother." Giving Mamoru an it-isn't-over-yet look, Makoto left the room. Mamoru watched his foster brother leave and frowned. He shouldn't have left Usagi unattended. Makoto was always up to no good. He should've remembered that Makoto always came home at this time. He had been wondering why he felt uneasy leaving Usagi by herself after cooling down her forehead with a wet washcloth.

She'd woken up a few hours after he brought her home and he was concerned when he found that she had a fever. He got her phone number before she fell asleep and his mother called her house to assure them that their daughter was okay and would be staying with them for a few days. Usagi had only fallen asleep for not even half an hour when Makoto's self-imposed curfew of 7 PM occurred.

Mamoru lifted Usagi out of the bed so that his mother could change the sheets. Upon hearing a gurgle from her, he immediately leapt down the hall and into the bathroom in time for red to splatter all over the shining white porcelain sink. Mamoru ran the water, letting it return the sink to its normal sparkling self. He smoothed back Usagi's hair, which had fallen out of the traditional 'meatball' style.

Her body was racking with coughs and he wanted to ease her pain somehow. _I hope this works . . ._ Deftly, he twisted his arm around her hair to keep it out of her face. The way he had done it gave Usagi some room to move her head. He tugged on it a bit to make sure it held tight. Mamoru then put his hands on her shoulders and started giving her a massage. Usagi stiffened before relaxing to his touch. It was very warm and comforting. _This is nice. I haven't had one in a while . . ._ The massage took her mind off the coughing, which soon slowed and finally stopped, but now she was under the hypnosis of the massage; it was lulling her to sleep. _Mmmm . . . like drinking warm tea on a winter night._

Mamoru saw her head dip dangerously low and decided that it wouldn't be a good thing to have her fall asleep in the sink. "Feel better?" She nodded slowly. "Good." He stopped massaging and, while unwinding his arm, said, "Wash up. I'll wait outside for you." Giving her shoulder a squeeze of assurance, he walked out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him.

A few minutes later, Usagi emerged, refreshed but extremely tired. She found Mamoru leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, looking rather haggard himself. "Mamoru—Ahhhh!!" _How lucky of me_, she thought dryly as she fell forward. While she was walking out, her foot caught on the door, which was only slightly open, and before she could push the door back, she was already falling.

_Wow, this girl sure is klutzy_, Mamoru thought as he scooped her into his arms and carried her back to his room. "Ehhhh?" Usagi wailed, surprised at the unexpected change in position. "You know, I can walk, Mamoru. Put me down." He just ignored her and kept on walking. She shrieked, "Mamoru, PUT ME DOWN!" After several more tries, she huffed, pouted, and finally gave up. _Of all the . . . _

Once they reached the room, he tucked her in the newly-made bed and told her to wait right there while he went to get something. She nodded, feeling oddly sleepy and soon dozed off. _Who turned up the temperature in here?_

When Mamoru walked back in with Tylenol, he found she had kicked off the blankets and was sweating profusely. He felt her forehead. _She's still burning up._ He took the bowl of water and towel he had brought in earlier when Usagi started coughing and placed it on the floor next to him as he knelt by the bed. He applied the cold towel to her forehead, rinsed it in the water, and applied it again every few minutes. As he worked, he noticed that it had begun to rain. The patter of raindrops on the glass echoed in the room, accompanied by the occasional rustling of bed sheets and wringing of water from the towel. Soon low rumbles, following bright flashes of light, joined those sounds. When he thought that her temperature had lowered sufficiently, he went to dump the water and dry the bowl and towel. Upon returning, he shook Usagi awake so she could take the medicine.

"Hmm . . . go away." Usagi grumbled, turning over. Couldn't she ever get any sleep around here?!

Mamoru sighed. _Maybe this is why she's always complaining about how she's late for school all the time._ Getting exasperated, he hauled her into a sitting position and propped the pillows behind her. His sudden movements jerked her awake.

Blearily, Usagi opened her eyes. _What's going on?_ She could hear Mamoru moving something behind her. Then she noticed that he was holding her to him with his left arm. She was so close that she could smell the smell of roses that permeated the air around him. Why was it so peaceful right now? Her heart jumped. _Why do I feel so at peace when I'm with him?_ Feeling uncertain, she did the only thing she could think of at the moment—she pushed him away from her.

"Huh?" Mamoru said. He fell to the floor with a thud. "Sheesh. Remind me to get someone else to wake you next time. Are you always this violent towards those who wake you up?" He walked towards the table with the medicine. Lightning briefly lit up the room.

Usagi grinned sheepishly. She joked, "Only with you."

Feigning hurt, he placed a hand over his heart. "Ouch." However, the effect of the cringe of pain on his face was marred by the small smile that slipped onto his lips. Usagi giggled.

Mamoru shook out two pills from the Tylenol bottle and brought the glass of water over to her. "Here. Take this. It should help bring down that fever of yours."

Usagi refused. "No way. I'd rather suffer than eat pills! I can hardly swallow the darn things."

"Come on . . . it's the only way you'll get better."

_What if I don't want to get better?_ It was an opinion she decided to keep to herself. Furiously shaking her head, she refused again. Thunder could be heard in the distance.

Mamoru was getting worried. _There has to be a way to get her to eat this . . . She's had a high fever since I brought her home . . . You may not care if you suffer anymore but . . . I . . . don't want you to suffer . . . not when I'm here to protect you . . . _ Determined, and practically frantic, he threw the pills in his mouth and took a swig of water.

Usagi gaped at him. What was he doing?! Was the moron crazy or something? Did he have some kind of death wish?! "Mamoru! What on earth are you doing?" Then something dawned on her and she stated huffily, looking him straight in the eye, "If you think that you eating the medicine will make me eat it, you're wro—"

She never got to finish. Mamoru was kissing her.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimers: As per usual, don't own characters or series but writing and idea is my own

Disclaimers: As per usual, don't own characters or series but writing and idea is my own.

Author's Note: Gah! ffnet is pissing me off. It changes my punctuation on sentences and removes smiley faces. Wish I had a manual on what's allowed and what's not. _Le sigh._ At least, my site has everything.

Ufufufu . . . the first reviewers: **Moonlit-Jeannie**, **crazyB**, **Carico**, **Amused**, **Endy's Girl**, **Amanda**, **Angie**, **Crystal Clear Destiny**, **cherrybunny**, **Shrouded Mist**, **chibimoonEmEm** . . . you guys are motivating me to write the next few chapters! Grr, I would be putting faces all over this thing if they would show up.

Erm, in response to comments: I actually researched Usagi's medical problem so guess as much as you want (in Pretty Girl Sailor Moon, it irritated me that we never knew what Mina died from).

Psych is an interesting field. I prolly would've majored in it if lab surveys weren't required as part of the curriculum.

Ah, about the bolded words . . . I also think it's a bit much, especially when I re-read everything. To be honest, the first 4 chapters were written in 2002 and I just put them up without thinking about it. Anyway, I went back and took out the bolding; it should read better now. Well, enjoy cuz this one's especially for you guys!

* * *

**Ch. 5**

She was wrong. She was utterly wrong. By him doing that, she ate the medicine after all.

Everything had happened so fast that she had no time to react. One second she was yelling at him for taking medicine he didn't even need, carrying it out with an intense glare, and the next she was speechless as his lips met hers. She'd stopped breathing altogether. _. . . Okay. So either this guy is good at pretending he's logical and practical or I'm too stupid to understand the logic behind this._

The idea of Mamoru being spontaneous was irrational, to say the least; Usagi knew from all the times she talked to him that he never acted rashly. Everything was always thought out and carefully planned (as far as she was aware). _Like a scene out of the Twilight Zone . . ._ The weather agreed: lightning flashed briefly and the rain seemed to be falling harder than ever, with no end in sight.

Her heart was beating at an abnormally fast pace. It felt as if it was going to fly out of her chest at any moment. Yet she didn't even know him well enough to clearly determine what was causing it. _Don't think about it, don't think about it, . . ._ She didn't want to jump ahead of herself and read things that weren't there.

Her eyes were unseeing, even though they were focused in front of her. She maintained the tense position she had adopted the second their lips touched earlier. It had been some moments before she realized that he had forced the medicine into her mouth, but, even in her shock, she had only been able to gulp down the water.

Usagi tried not to gag as the pills stubbornly crashed against her tonsils. They were beginning to leave a bitter taste in her mouth and as much as she wanted to spit them out, she couldn't. For one thing, Mamoru was blocking her path to the bathroom. She wasn't too keen on the idea of making a mess on his bed again either.

While Usagi was contemplating her options, Mamoru was rigid with fear. _I can't believe I'm kissing Usagi right now. I hardly even know her!_ A cold wave swept through him and the hair on his arms and neck rose in response. He hadn't even been around her for a day and already he felt comfortable with her. _This is insane!_ All his actions today were so foreign to him that he wondered if aliens hadn't come and tinkered with his brain in the middle of the night.

Both chalked the situation up to the whirling emotions brought out by the day's earlier events. Abruptly they separated. Usagi took the glass that Mamoru still held in his hand and drank the rest of its contents as she forced the pills down. Neither could look the other in the eye. They hoped their pink-tinged cheeks went unnoticed.

"I-I'll go put the medicine away." With that, Mamoru quickly grabbed the glass and the medicine and walked out of the room before Usagi could utter a word. Using her knuckles, she wiped at corner of her mouth and promptly fell backwards, pulling the sheets over her head.

* * *

Oh, how he wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. His face flaming, he put the Tylenol back in the bathroom medicine cabinet. Pausing for a moment, he leaned forward and touched his forehead against the cool glass. Mentally, he felt like he was being thrown in too many directions. _Maybe I should actually be taking that aspirin._

He splashed some water on his face as if to clear his head. The cold water certainly felt good against his warm skin. While toweling it off, he noticed the greasy spot on the mirror where his forehead had been. _Urgh_. Frowning, he tried to rub it off with the edge of his hand but only succeeded in smearing it across a wider area. _Oh no._ He knew how much his mom disliked greasy fingerprints and the like on her windows and mirrors.

He gathered all the soap products he could find in the vicinity. He brought out the toothpaste for good measure. _So, regular bar of soap?_ It would be hard to get on the mirror unless he lathered his hands and placed them onto the surface. _Hmm._ _Basically all of these need to be squirted onto my hands before I can use them._ He was in the middle of deciding whether to use his father's shaving lotion or the foamy hand soap when Miki interrupted.

"Mamoru," his mother's voice held an amused undertone. "What on earth are you doing?"

"Uh . . ." was his coherent reply. He had the look of a child who'd spilled his juice all over the floor and was trying, dutifully, to clean it up without his parents knowing. Miki was struggling not to laugh outright at his expression.

"Son, why are you holding my shaving lotion?" Daisuke Himitsu appeared in the doorway behind his wife and placed his arms around her waist. He surveyed the array of products laid out on the toilet cover and eyed the bottles Mamoru was gripping rather tightly. "Is this a science experiment of some sort?"

"No . . . er, well, . . . I mean—that is, . . . " _Of all days to lose my composure and any semblance of prudence,_ thought Mamoru. This behavior certainly was rare for him. It was even rarer that Miki and Daisuke had the chance to witness it. Ever since they'd brought him home four years ago, Mamoru'd shown how characteristically methodical he was: always quiet, sometimes stoic, but polite nonetheless. He thought out his decisions thoroughly, sure and confident in whatever he did. He was a child without a true childhood, growing up because he had to, whether he was ready or not.

So, Miki was glad to find him in such a peculiar position, perched on the edge of the bathtub with various bathroom products spread out in front of him. Well, it wasn't like she reveled in the oddness of the situation but this was definitely more along the lines of what a teenage boy would do. Daisuke would merrily agree with those thoughts. He often felt Mamoru talked and acted like his corporate business partners. Not to mean that Mamoru was as stuffy or as gruff as them but that Mamoru didn't go out and enjoy himself—watch movies, hang out with friends, all the fun stuff—like they wished he would. It saddened them to watch him be so focused on the future and be so afraid of the past.

Undeniably, Mamoru had a great future ahead of him. He was certainly wise beyond his years and extraordinarily studious for one his age. Yet, there was more to life than doing well in school or obtaining great job experience. They knew that even if he didn't realize it later, others would feel how much he lacked whatever humanly magnetic aspect they were looking for in well-rounded employees. Essentially, Mamoru still hadn't learned to live yet. Miki knew, as only a mother could, that he would have to find out how on his own. She hoped that the girl she had tended to earlier was someone who could show him the way. It seemed Usagi'd already done something to that effect.

"The girl appears to have addled his brain." Mamoru instantly colored to the roots of his hair at these words. _No, don't . . . kiss . . . so embarrassed._ His parents didn't know the real reason why he resembled the color of berries on fake mistletoe; they just thought that the implication of a 'relationship' between him and a girl was enough. After all, Mamoru still considered girls to be no different than boys. Jokingly, they often said that he hadn't passed the 'ew-girls-have-cooties' stage yet.

The weird thing was that Usagi honestly did do something to his brain. The carefully planned routine of his life and the rules by which he ran it—his foundations for the past ten years—were being tossed aside without a thought. He was scared beyond reason at this point and all the (tormenting) explanations he tried to come up with were enough to cause a mental meltdown. Even episodes of his favorite shows on Discovery channel would've been too much for him to watch and have to ponder about.

"What girl?" Today, Daisuke worked until well past eight o'clock instead of the usual nine-to-five schedule; he had been nominated to bring through an important transaction with one of their more demanding clients. He found Makoto, who had a particularly sour look on his face, finishing dinner as he wandered into the kitchen to heat up some for himself. Afterwards, he headed upstairs to grab his pajamas before going to the large bath in the back of the house when he spotted his wife merely standing in the bathroom doorway. Wondering what was going on, he went to take a look and saw this rather amusing scene.

"Well, she's—"Miki began before being interrupted by Mamoru, who suddenly wanted help with his soap problem.

"Er, hey Mom? How do I get that smudge off the mirror?" The looks on his parents' faces were one of amazement. Mamoru couldn't help but start to sweat under their gaze. Surely something this simple would be a task that their intelligent adopted son could handle in a jiffy. Or not.

"Here, I'll take care of it once I get the window cleaner from the garage." Mamoru almost sighed in relief as Miki said this; he had been so frustrated earlier. But how could he have forgotten about that spray bottle? _This day has been too much. I need to get my mind off of everything._ "Go check up on her."

_So much for forgetting about today_, he thought as he practically bolted from the bathroom. He could hear his father asking, "Check up on her?" as he walked towards his room and could only groan in worry at his mother's answer. From the sound of her excited voice echoing slightly in the hallway, though not loud enough for him to make out exactly what she was saying, he knew the following week would be one humongous headache.

Oh, it wasn't like his parents were bad people. Far from it, really. Carefree and honest, always easy-going but raising them with a firm hand at the same time, one couldn't ask for better parents. As much as they understood his personality, they also knew how to make him red faced for days. _It's like their revenge; instead of grounding us or whatever, _Mamoru thought with an unconcealed shudder.

After making sure that the lump on the bed was indeed Usagi, Mamoru decided to begin their project. He knew it was kind of rude to not ask Usagi for her opinion on the matter but, as she was out cold and the topic was due that night, he thought it would be best this way. _I'll just have her do most of the presentation. I hate public speaking anyway._

He entered the den with his bookbag in tow and sat down at one of the several computers placed around the room. The den had been used as thus due to its size; they could accommodate all the computer traffic and office work here and with the number of people in this family, it was perfect.

Mamoru scanned the packet he'd received earlier, marking specific points and jotting down notes. Oddly enough, doing homework was Mamoru's way of de-stressing. Soon he became mindlessly absorbed in the work, forgetting about events that would've made any less rational person ready to admit himself to an insane asylum.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimers: As per usual, don't own characters or series but writing and idea is my own

Disclaimers: As per usual, don't own characters or series but writing and idea is my own.

Author's Note: My apologies to **starrynightmoon**, **ffgirlmoonie**, **moonrabbit04**, **Starlit Warrior**, **rainjohnson**, **VFPC**, and **Supergal2005** for taking so long. I know all of you were waiting for an update. I hope you were able to find your way back to this fic to read these last few chapters. Thank you for your reviews! They gave me hope for the story.

Also, is 5'8' really that short for a 16-year-old Asian kid? I know I've seen a few that are really tall but Asians usually aren't (speaking from experience of course). It may have changed since I was that age. Well, just think of it as in comparison to Usagi: Mamoru would be at least a foot and a half taller than her so she would consider it tall.

* * *

**Ch. 6**

Often times she jerked awake thinking she would be late for school. Yet, without being thoroughly conscious, she knew it was summer. Just the notion of summer made her lazy. Usagi languidly opened her eyes. She saw the soft light of the early morning spread across the entire room.

_It must be the end of the world. I'm awake at the crack of dawn for once._ Well, it definitely felt like the end. Her throat was raw from vomiting so much the day before and her head was ringing slightly from the remnants of that fever.

She drew the blanket tighter around herself as cold air blasted from a vent above the bed. _Great. Stupid central air._ She knew it was a blessing in disguise; if the previous days were anything to go by, the temperature would be pretty high today.

_Doubt anyone's conscious this early in the morning . . . don't really wanna get up either._ But the feeling of a greasy face and her gums stuck together wasn't very pleasant. So she trekked to the bathroom as quietly as possible and closed the door. The squeak of the hinges seemed to echo rather loudly in the silent hallway and Usagi winced, hoping she didn't wake anyone.

She searched the medicine cabinet for mouthwash, thinking, _Hope they don't mind me using some . . ._ Finding a bottle of Listerine, she gargled and continued through her usual morning routine at a very unhurried pace. Several (long) minutes later, she emerged feeling refreshed but somewhat tired.

It seemed like she wouldn't be getting sleepy any time soon and she didn't have anything she could do to pass the time. After propping the pillows higher and climbing back into Mamoru's bed, Usagi sat there letting her mind wander.

_Do I have to keep moving forward? I'm just a burden to everyone. I even made someone I don't know take care of me. I'm so useless. _Her eyes couldn't help but fill with tears. Pulling her knees to her chest, she hid her face in her arms as they streamed quietly down her cheeks. As much as she tried to tell herself that she was fine and didn't need anyone, the more she did that the more she felt like it was just the opposite. She was clawing for air, desperate to escape her existence: desperate to claim some kind of sanity and find her place.

At school, she knew that even if it looked like she had a lot of friends, she knew that no one really cared about her. She just wasn't that important to them. People just knew who she was, that's all. She supposed that it didn't matter since she loved being by herself most of the time.

As much as she seemed the type to want and need attention, that was also what she hated the most. She felt that her whole life was just spiraling downward, in that endless vicious cycle. She couldn't escape it. _Maybe I just want the drama. To feel that pain until it becomes a dull ever-present ache._

Tears came to her eyes again and it was only then that she realized that she had stopped crying during her contemplation. _I can't keep doing this anymore._ She turned to her side, curling up into a ball, as silent sobs racked her body.

* * *

"Mamoru?" The question met silence. Her shoulder-length hair swayed as she walked around the front hall, looking for any signs of life.

She thought he would be home since he didn't have class today but apparently not. _Kinda odd._ Shifting the overnight bag slung on her right shoulder, Tenshi climbed the stairs two at a time.

The house in itself was strangely quiet. _Mom and Dad are still at work, of course. It's hardly 11 yet. And Alex and Hana have camp til middle of next week._ She passed Maki's room on the way to hers and saw the light coming out from under his door. _Well, he's holed up in his room as usual._ She made a mental note to bug him after she finished unpacking.

As she opened the blinds in her room, Tenshi went through the list of people in her head one more time. _Oh, yeah. Mako's probably out playing b-ball with his buddies again, which leaves only Mamoru unaccounted for._

Oh, well. She would undoubtedly see him later. First, she needed to play Neopets. Although she enjoyed her overnight stay with Naru, one day away from a computer was one too many. She literally flew down the stairs in her hurry to reach the den. Well, as fast as her small feet would carry her.

Throwing open the door to the room with her grip still on the door knob, she came to a dead halt. It was Mamoru. Slumped in a computer chair and it didn't look like he was breathing. Maybe she had watched too many horror movies but all the things you heard about murder on the news and read online were enough to scar any mind.

"Oh my god!" Without thinking, she grabbed the back of his chair and turned it. He jolted awake as if from a bad nightmare causing her to scream and let go of the chair with a shove. Before he had a chance to react, Mamoru fell to the floor unceremoniously with a yelp. Mamoru had fallen asleep with his feet under the table, so only the chair spun away.

Tenshi clapped her hands over her mouth, wide eyed, as Mamoru propped himself on his elbows and glared at her. His head was smarting where it had made contact with the desk. The only sound in the room was that of the chair rolling away. And then Tenshi made a noise. "Puh!"

He narrowed his eyes even further and she burst out laughing. This was one of the few times she had ever seen him looking so comical and disheveled. "I'm sorry!" she said between gasps of laughter. "Ahaha . . . Really I'm sorry!"

Pursing his lips and grumbling something about women turning his life upside down, he grabbed the edge of the table and hoisted himself up. He had to stand still as a wave of dizziness blurred his vision and momentarily made him black out. Maybe he had hit his head a little too hard. Getting up that quickly was enough for anyone to feel lightheaded though.

Tenshi was immediately at his side, still giggling beneath her breath. "You okay? I didn't mean to do that. I thought you were murdered or something since you were slumped in your chair like that." He closed his eyes in disbelief even as she continued rambling. "I mean, I came back and I couldn't find you. I even called your name and then . . . then . . . well, I thought it was weird that you weren't home since you didn't have class today." She trailed off, catching her breath. "Are you mad? Please don't be mad."

Her eyes started welling up and Mamoru sighed. How were girls able to do that? Go from laughing to crying in a few seconds? "Of course not but you gave me one hell of a scare. Not to mention a nice concussion. Honestly, you and Usagi both are enough to drive anyone crazy."

"Sorry," she said, apologizing again. "Who's Usagi? And what were you doing sleeping down here? I've never seen you asleep at this hour." As she kept bombarding him with questions, he had only one thought on his mind: _Even though I may love my little sister to death, I'm never going to have kids._

He scratched his head, trying to put his hair into place. He knew that the back had to be sticking up at odd angles; it always did. "Mm . . . someone's kinda occupying my bed at the moment and I was working on an assignment last night so I ended falling asleep in my chair without realizing it."

He ran a hand down his face. "Let me go wash up. Lunch should be in the fridge. Mom said you can just stick it in the microwave if you want."

As Tenshi disappeared into the kitchen, Mamoru jogged up the stairs. Sneaking into his room, he grabbed a change of clothes and jumped into the bathroom shower.

* * *

Usagi awoke groggily, realizing that she desperately needed to use the bathroom before her bladder burst. Groaning at her stupidity for not going when she had woken up earlier, she forced herself out of the bed. _ I so don't wanna get up._ She considered for half a moment not getting up but knew that doing so would not bode well.

Sighing, she blearily wiped at her eyes as she trudged down the hall.

Now, if Usagi had been fully awake, she would have heard the noise of the shower. She did, however, regard it peculiar that the bathroom light was on. Then again, someone could have been lazy or just plain forgetful. She entered without further deliberation.

It was only after she had flushed the toilet and started washing her hands that she realized someone else was in the bathroom.

* * *

Their house was an old house, although there had been many additions to it since the Himitsu's had bought it. In the summer, the wooden doors tended to swell and required some shoving to fit in their frames. Although Mamoru closed the door tightly, it popped open again without him knowing it.

He was in the middle of shampooing his hair when he thought he heard some rustling. He stopped to listen but not hearing anything, chalked it up to his imagination. _That fall earlier must have jostled my brain more than I thought._

He had just rinsed the shampoo out of his hair and was applying body soap when he heard the audible noise of the toilet flushing. _What?_ He didn't have time to even think about it as the water changed temperature.

"Holy shit! Cold!" There was a thud as Mamoru hastily backed away from the shower head and received his second concussion for the day. Grimacing in pain, he yanked open the shower curtain, gripping the lower half to him. "Dammit, Tenshi—" Pausing only long enough to wipe the water off of his face, "are you trying to kill . . . me . . ."

He hadn't been able to see clearly, what with the water trailing down his face; actually not at all considering that his eyes had been shut until he passed a hand across them. When he saw that it was not Tenshi but Usagi, he was embarrassed into speechlessness.

Usagi gaped at him and became beet red. As if on autopilot, she turned off the faucet and slowly backed towards the door. Stuttering, she squeaked out a 'sorry' as she hurried out of the bathroom. The door slammed behind her.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimers: As per usual, don't own characters or series but writing and idea is my own.

Author's Note: Special thanks to **SailorMoonForever **and **moonlover46** for the quick reviews. I feel honored that this story was recognized and added to a Community. Thanks again **SailorMoonForever**!

I realize the last chapter did not flow as well as it should have. Once the story is done (or maybe in the middle of a writer's block), I will go back and edit all of the previous chapters. Maybe move the storyline around. So any comments you can give me about anything that sounds odd or out of place or doesn't make sense will help me greatly.

I'm starting to feel that it may be lost cause though.

* * *

**Ch. 7**

The sound made him jump.

Only then did he realize he had been standing there like an idiot, open mouthed. He grimaced, running a hand through his hair. _This is turning out to be a real wonderful day_, he thought sarcastically. He wasn't sure if his head could take anymore beatings.

Sighing, he closed the curtain again. He would have to wipe down the floor. There was water everywhere now. So much for a quick shower.

* * *

Usagi stood there clutching the door frame. _Oh my god oh mygod ohmygod _Her entire body felt like it was on fire. _That was so embarrassing. I can't believe I walked in on him like that._ She was about ready to cry again. It felt like she could never do anything right.

As much as she wanted to linger on the sight he made, dripping wet . . . he wasn't overly muscular but toned enough that her breath caught in her throat just thinking about. She was crazy. _Oh my god, I don't want to do this. Not again, not ever._

She hunched over, pressing her arms into her sides, and pulled the neck of her shirt over her mouth, still breathing heavily from the shock. She blinked and stared at the carpet beneath her toes. She had been obsessed with a guy before, in grade school, and it had been no good then and she knew it would be no good now to start liking a guy who she knew couldn't possibly like her back. Their circles were just too different.

_Now what am I going do? It's going to be so awkward after this incident._ Just thinking about it was enough to bring tears to her eyes. She decided for a moment just grabbing her stuff and pelting out of there. She could face him another day.

As if he read her thoughts, Mamoru exited the bathroom, rubbing his hair dry with a towel, and almost knocked her over. She turned around quickly, tripping over her own feet in the process as she tried to back away from the door. He reached out to grab her, the towel falling to the floor as it slid off his head.

"Whoa. Careful there."

She turned her face away from him. Something warm and wet landed on the hand holding her arm. It took him a second to realize that something was dripping onto him and a few more before it dawned on him what it was that was dripping on him.

"Usagi?" She still refused to look at him. "Are you crying?"

She shook her head vehemently.

"Hey now," Mamoru said, as he gently guided her chin towards him. He brushed aside stray strands of hair and tried to wipe away some of the tears. All he succeeded in doing was spreading the tears across a larger area of her face. Usagi laughed at his sad attempt before bursting into full-fledged sobs. He awkwardly held her to him as she cried into his shirt.

* * *

What the hell was going on upstairs? Puzzled, Tenshi climbed the carpeted steps to the second floor. She almost expected Mamoru to be in a brawl with all the banging and thumping she heard.

Poking her head around the corner, she nearly fell over in surprise. She knew the chances of her brother being that close to a girl was like having green eggs for breakfast. _. . . Okay, maybe not the best example; there is something called food coloring. But then again, it was sort of like having green eggs for breakfast._ It was unexpected but not impossible.

Her head was starting to hurt just thinking about it. It didn't make sense even if it was possible. She spent enough time going on errands and outings with him to know that he tended to drive away any girls that got close to him. _Not that I could blame him. They can be pariah-like at times but still, Mamoru-'nii-chan shouldn't have a perpetual scowl on his face. Otherwise he'll even start frowning at me when he doesn't mean to._ She pouted at the thought. Even now, he still seemed out of place with the girl in his arms.

"Mamoru-'nii-chan . . . lunch is ready," she called out.

The pair jerked their heads in her direction as they jumped at the sound of her voice. "Oh," Mamoru mumbled. He took a step backwards, although it seemed pointless as Usagi had already treaded herself into the opposite wall of the hallway and was trying unsuccessfully to hide the fact that she was wiping furiously at her eyes. "Um, thanks . . . "

Tenshi's hair flew as she bounded over to them. Sticking her hand out with a wide smile on her face, she said, "I'm Tenshi. Onii-chan hasn't been giving you that scowl of his, has he?"

Usagi blinked at her. "Scowl?"

"Yes, what 'scowl' are you talking about?" Mamoru was now frowning at her, as if trying to say _Don't go putting thoughts into her head._

Tenshi giggled. "Yup. See? He's already doing it."

The blonde's lips quirked up even as she was trying not to let herself bubble over with mirth. "Ohhhhh. That scowl."

At this, the 'scowl' only deepened further. "Are you two bonding? Should I be watching my back from now on?"

The two girls looked at each other, grinning, before turning back to him and replying, "Maybe."

Mamoru shuddered. Alone both of them had caused him to hit his head today. He did not want to imagine what kind of trauma they would cause together. "Come on. You can continue your plotting downstairs. I, for one, am hungry."

He thought with some relief, _at least Usagi isn't feeling so down anymore. I wonder if this is what's really behind that happy-go-lucky smile of hers._ But as much as she was sad underneath the surface, she still had a goofy personality that showed itself quite often. _ Almost as if it is willing her to brighten up and forget the bad._

He watched her talk to his sister on their way to the kitchen, unable to tear his eyes away from the glowing spirit that was Usagi.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimers: As per usual, don't own characters or series but writing and content is my own.

Author's Note: **TsukiyoTenshi**, thanks for the review!

So, looking over these chapters, I beginning to think more and more that Tenshi resembles Minako to a T. So the question is, should I replace her now or after I'm done? Which brings me to some of the other characters, not all of whom have been introduced yet, but Makoto = Seiya, Hanako = Rei, . . . that's how I have mapped out their personalities so far and the direction that their relationship to Usagi will take.

Well, please leave some comments/PM about that!

* * *

**Ch. 8**

Returning home was not something that Usagi looked forward to but she did it. She trudged up the front steps and stuck the key in the door.

With an apprehensive sigh, she turned it and entered. Unlike the serene atmosphere created by the sunlight blinking in and out of the trees and birds chasing each other from branch to branch, one could almost hear the zoo as soon as she opened the door. She almost wanted to pull it shut again. However, being the brave soul that she was, she entered and leaned against the door until it closed with a soft click.

She doubted anyone could hear the door even if she slammed it (okay, they probably would hear the door if she slammed it) what with Sami playing Guitar Hero full blast from his room, her mother listening to oldies music on YouTube in the den as she worked, and her father watching another testerone-pumped movie filled with car chases, screaming, and the rat-a-tat-tat of machine guns in the living room.

Slipping out of her shoes as silently as she could, she peered around the corner. Her father was engrossed in the film. Hoping he didn't take his eyes away from the screen for the few seconds that it would take her to cross the four feet from the front door to the staircase, Usagi fairly flew the distance past the living room doorway. Usagi pelted up the stairs before her parents could grill her about where she had been staying for the past day. Quickly closing the door and locking it, she flopped onto the bed. This sent Luna yowling to the floor as she slipped off the edge she had been curled up near.

With a very human-like sniff, Luna looked at Usagi disdainfully before stalking off to sleep in the hamper. Usagi almost rolled her eyes. If she didn't know better, she could have sworn that the cat was muttering something along the lines of "the things I have to put up with around this house." She _was_ feeling a little disoriented. Yeah, it had to be that. Her cat talking would be like finding out she was a superhero. As if!

She groaned. Maybe falling onto the bed hadn't been such a good idea. Her head spun slightly as she tried to regain her equilibrium. _I bet even a feather could knock me unconscious right now._

She slid herself across the bed, clinging to the pillow she found near the headboard as she closed her eyes. Weariness seeped into her. The adrenaline rush from sneaking up to her room was starting to wear off and her head began to spin more as she fell in and out of consciousness. Usagi dearly wanted to throw up again.

Somehow sleep overtook her but it was fitful at best.

The next moment, she was aware that she yanking at her own door through the sleep-induced haze. It banged in its frame as she jiggled the knob—jiggling being an understatement—as if she was trying to escape from something. A low cry escaped her lips.

Why wouldn't it open? Frantic, she began to pound on the door even as she pulled at it with all her might.

Tears at the corners of eyes, she whimpered, frustrated before it registered somewhere in her mind that she had been the one who locked her door earlier. Sweating, she stumbled back towards her bed, aware that the room of stifling. Maybe this was why she had woken up.

Swallowing thickly, she rolled on her side, not liking in the least that it felt like something was stuck in her throat. She loved warm weather, loved summer, but it was too much for her body to take. She felt so weak all the time now and it didn't help any that she had to expend so much energy in order to move and breathe in the summer heat. Usagi felt like she was sweating all the nutrients out of her body. She mumbled a "mmf" into her bedspread as if to say that she wouldn't doubt it.

She was exhausted and uncomfortable. Too much sleep today. It was the only reason she could come up with as she rolled onto her back and began to stretch, arching her shoulders into the mattress. Her shirt rode up above her stomach in the process but she didn't even bother to pull it back down. It wasn't like there would be anyone in her room other than herself to see her.

She rubbed a hand lightly down her flat stomach, realizing that if she continued to eat any less she would be mere skin and bones. It wasn't a nice thought. She was just bordering on disgusting it seemed. Of course, she had always been skinny as a child. She remembered looking through photo albums and recalling that her ribs really did stick out in a number of pictures. Her arms and wrists were undeniably thin too. Maybe she just wasn't big boned . . . _wait, how does not being big boned mean that I'm skinny to the point of being anorexic?_ "I'll never be able to talk my way out of a situation if my logic is like this."

Luna meowed at her from her dignified perch on top of the clothes mound she had recently shoved into her hamper.

"Great." Blowing air through her lips in an exaggerated sigh, Usagi couldn't help rolling her eyes. "Even my cat agrees."

She paused in the motion. " . . . and I'm talking to myself _out loud_, and I must be _losing it_, which I am quite literally _doing_ . . ." Usagi had the inexplicable feeling that she wanted to burst into sobs, like it was just welling up in her and needed release. She scratched angrily at her head. The violent motion loosened her left odango and it now drooped heavily above her ear. She was about ready to just chop off all her hair in one swift swing.

_God, it really is too stuffy in here. _She rolled over, crawling to the window-side of her bed and fumbling with the latch. She cursed as she nearly fell off the bed. When she finally got the window open, she was sweating again. "This is ridiculous."

How on earth could her room trap so much heat if most of the house was being air-conditioned? She grimaced at the thought before sticking her head out the window for better access to the cool night air. A whiff of something foul—was that their neighbor's garbage?—hit her nose and Usagi grabbed the wastebasket near her bed, a position which she had long since recognized was convenient after the first time, and hurled unceremoniously into the plastic-bagged bucket.

She couldn't possibly have any more left to throw up. Eating had done a number on her stomach earlier too and she had spent a good amount of time holed in Mamoru's bathroom retching that out. This was also why she didn't even want to try nibbling on anything anymore. Her body almost flat out rejected it since it wasn't used to anything that wasn't water-based.

Oh yes. Oranges. Sweet, delectable oranges. The big kind that had dried out just a little was the best. Her brain halted. _That did not make any sense. If it's dry, how can it have water?_

When Usagi stopped thinking, her nose picked up the horrid stench of the bucket held in her hands and that set her off again.

Seriously, what was wrong with her?

Something wasn't adding up. So, yeah, she was tired but she did sleep at all odd hours of the day and sometimes even skipped a night of rest by entertaining herself with those addictive PC games. Every so often she would have this incredible urge to scratch herself, especially around her stomach. Maybe she needed to take showers more often? She did have one every other day at the very least because her head began to itch pretty badly otherwise. The itchiness seemed to happen more frequently though. Maybe it was time to change the sheets? She wouldn't be surprised if she had bed bugs.

She understood that maybe somewhere in the recesses of her mind she might be dieting to maintain her body image but she never thought that she had much of a need. She really was quite skinny except maybe around the thighs . . . However, it didn't make sense that she was constantly throwing up now and on top of that, half the time it was blood.

Hoping that was the last of it, she wiped her mouth with a tissue and unlocked her door, silently sneaking out into the hallway towards the bathroom. Her mom was quite the light sleeper and she didn't want to hear the creaking of the door that would signal the start of probably another one-sided lecture. Why her mother had chosen the bedroom nearest the bathroom was a mystery to her but it never ceased to amaze Usagi how many times she would be going into or coming out the bathroom and her mom would be at her bedroom door peering at her.

Maybe her mother wasn't sleeping though. What time was it anyway? When she woke up, her room light was on but she didn't need to turn it on when she came home earlier. She must have done it during her sleepwalking . . . Judging from the sky when she went to open the window, it was pretty dark outside but she knew her mom didn't go to sleep until at least 2 in the morning.

Really, she was putting way too much thought into this. She just wanted to zip in and out of the bathroom so she could go back to sleep. She was feeling dead tired again.

Tomorrow was another day of class and she couldn't help thinking she was forgetting something.


End file.
